Blood Red Envelope
by She's my Morphine
Summary: ONESHOT EDWARDXBELLA Bella leaves Edward, for a shocking reason described in a letter that Edward finds when he returns from a hunt. VERY DEPRESSING GO READ "SNOW WHITE QUEEN" after this.
1. Chapter 1

**{Author's Note: This has nothing to do with my "Baby Daddy" Stories. Just a one shot what-if story. I need to get out of my rut. I feel like I've been letting my girl drama get in the way of my writing. Anyways enjoy!}**

I reemerged through the window into our bedroom expecting to see that she'd come home and was in bed fast asleep. I crawled into the messy mound of sheets in hopes that my pregnant bride would be inside them but to no avail. Strange it was that she wasn't waiting in bed. My wife loyally obsessed over spending romantic hours on end under the covers on these rainy Sundays in Forks. My lovely hopeless romantic...but where was she? I rose out of bed staring at the dimly lit empty bedroom. Suddenly I noticed something odd.

All of the picture frames that held precious photos of the two of us were face down. It was unusual for all of them to have fallen in the exact same way. I remember the sickening feeling of worry pounding in my gut. The familiar soothing Sunday rain beat harder with my paranoia. If my heart was still a working member of this worn immortal body of mine, oh how it would beat.

I stepped into the empty hallway sensing the vacancy of the household. "Bella." I called out her name to make sure. I recieved no answer so I was positive she was nowhere near, but it was odd for her to be out this early in the morning. She was still human after all, where would she have to go? My mind whirred with the possibilites. I had been gone for a week and with Bella inching closer to her due date the possibilites were endless!

I ran into the kitchen that still had a lingering smell of freshly brewed coffee. The scent was familiar because Bella often drank coffee, but not since she'd gotten pregnant because we both knew it was bad for the baby. The lingering smell also hinted that she was here not long ago. I felt like everything was in slow motion. I reached for the coffee pot to feel. It was still hot. I was frustrated with my lover's irresponisble behavior. I found on the counter a scarlet red envelope beside the coffee pot. I picked it up and in Bella's tidy scrawl it had Edward across the front.

I neatly opened the beautiful envelope and placed it back down onto the counter. The letter inside read as follows:

_Dear Edward,_

_You were away for a week quenching your thirst and it's easy to say that a lot has happened while you were away. I woke up early this morning knowing you would be returning, and I couldn't handle the shame. I wrote this letter in our bedroom, and while I was writing it I couldn't stand the several pairs of your eyes meeting mine and turned all our picture frames over. The happy nostalgia of the days before I got pregnant ached to look at. I kept reaching out at them as if I could strain just hard enough to relive those sweet memories. To go back to the times digitally written in the corners of the photographs. I wanted so bad to be able to pretend that life was exactly the same once you got home, but I knew in my heart that this was a tragedy we could not overlook. But I'm getting off topic._

_I made myself a pot of coffee, I know it's bad for the baby, but you see that's the thing. There is no more baby Edward. Little Renesme, we worked so hard to build a home for her. We tried our hardest to build a loving family for our precious little girl, when she came into this world we were going to be ready, but we weren't Edward. Something went wrong within our genetic coding. Some sort of bad cross between being mortal and immortal. I was scared you would blame me Edward, blame yourself...but none of us are at fault. If I weren't human we couldn't have this baby in the first place. It was beyond our control. I think the best way to describe it is in the night that the incident happened. _

_I had Alice over for moral support, I was having these terrible contractions. Alice rushed me to the hospital and made sure that Carlisle was the leading surgeon. Key word is : surgeon. Alice seemed nervous and distraught. I think she foresaw it all. The thought that she saw it coming almost makes it even more painful. I know she didn't tell me because she didn't want me to be worried, but I'm still a little angry. Please tell Alice I still love her and she will always be like a sister to me. Can you do that for me, please? _

_The room was spinning and Carlisle was in a panic. I'd never seen him so passionate about a surgical assignment, probably because it was his granddaughter at stake. It killed me to see his head hung in shame and despair as he held our dead little girl. He didn't want me to see our little Renesme but I caught a glimpse. I couldn't help myself, I needed a tiny glimpse of what could have been._

_Edward I need you to know that it isn't easy leaving you like this. I don't think either of us will be the same after this. I know I'll never be the same. I'm so scared Edward, I can't look at myself in the mirror the same way anymore. I keep touching my stomach thinking my little girl is gonna kick but I'll never feel that again. I can't walk passed the nursery we built knowing my little girl isn't in it. I can't pass the nursery school on my commute and know that our daughter will have never enrolled. I can't live in Forks anymore. Everytime I hear the rain I hear my daughters dying breaths, her frail pathetic scream before she breathed no more. I cannot look you in the eye without seeing the father that should have been. Edward, I've always loved you and I will never stop loving you but I'm positive that I'm making the right decision. Don't look for me. Let me go._

_Yours always,_

_Isabella Marie Swan._

My hands shook holding the letter. I scanned it over and over wishing I could find some sort of key word, something that would tell me she was lying, or where she was going but she left me nothing! All she left me were old photographs and the scent of coffee brewing in the pot. Only the faintest memories remained. I threw the letter down in disbelief and picked up the phone. I dialed the number it went straight to voice mail, I dialed again, again, again. Finally I heard Esme's voice.

"Hello?" he heard her on the other line.

"Esme! Is Carlisle there?" I asked.

"Oh...he's not speaking to anyone. He's really depressed, you know since the loss."

"Oh...so Bella was telling the truth."

"Oh that's right, you were away weren't you? I'm so sorry Edward, I know how much this meant to you. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No, I just need to be alone," I answered my mother figure monotonously. I hung up and put the phone back on the reciever. My body suddenly felt weary with remorse and grief. I felt like a complete and utter wreck, breaking down into tears.

"I'm sorry Bella! I'm sorry I wasn't there!" I sobbed out to no one. A pathetic vampire alone, for the rest of eternity. Soulmate: gone. Child: gone. Will to live? Gone. I picked myself up and tore the beautiful red envelope into pieces. I held the letter to shred as well but it hurt to make the tiniest tear in my last piece of Bella's affections. It hurt to read but somehow it glowed with Bella's passion and spirit. I wished to hold onto it, but oh I wished to let it go. I wanted to tear it up, burn the pieces and toss the ashes over a cliff, but I also longed to hoard them in my room to read "Yours Always" again and again. I longed to know for the rest of our lives we were connected in our inability to move on.

Yes I was a pathetic vampire crippled to the floor, sobbing, whimpering, defending a little red letter with words that could kill a mortal man. I begged a God I don't believe in for mortality. I begged the devil I don't believe exists to rip the soul from my very flesh. I've sat and wished but never done. Oh Bella how alike we are.


	2. SUPER IMPORTANT!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Many didn't pay much attention when I said this was a oneshot...I've gotten a lot of requests to continue it so I'm starting a continuation called "Snow White Queen" go to my profile and check it out, I should be posting it tonight. :) I'd like to thank all of you for your loyal support and encouragement.  
**


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